about that.
it seems i went nuts on the blog last night......as usually, i barely remember anything. i blanked.....woke up and had scribbled on pages upon pages.....words i can't decipher.....typed so much, wrote so much my hands are sore.....i really wasn't myself.....more and more i believe on elize's spirit theory........i'm keeping the posts up so i can show them to her.....oh god......i'm terrified......one second i feel okay, and my senses are here with me.......and....and then in others i'm screaming at elize's door......i'm writing on the walls, i'm.........hearing, seeing all of that......i'm missing work days, i'm sleeping poorly. elize is trying all she can, spiritual passes..........reading so much.........she's trying to fix me but...................what if i can't be fixed.......the thing i'm most terrified about is..... .......what if i hurt her again...?